It’s a truth, universally acknowledged that the two greatest fears amongst humans are public speaking and death. To which Jerry Seinfeld poignantly noted that at a funeral, most of us would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.
I don’t know about you, but one of my greatest fears has always been prison. I need to move my body, feel the earth under my bare feet and stare up at the moon before retiring to bed.
Something I have come to realise over the years, is that a lot of us are living like prisoners. Behind the invisible bars of not being our “true selves”.
In my early twenties, I worked at Myer, in the ladies’ accessories department. What a great job to have at an age where all you wanted to do was try on all the merchandise, run out to Pitt Street to sneak a ciggie, wear low-cut tops and flirt with all the straight boys in the logistics department. At the ripe old age of 35, my life now consists mainly of loose-fitted shirts and napping.
I was approached, one day, by two Chanel representatives who asked me if I’d like to remain in that department, exclusively selling Chanel sunglasses (at $500 a pop, those babies really moved!) I took them up on their offer, wooed by promises of commissions and free Chanel sunglasses (I never saw either). Though there was a catch: the Chanel uniform consisted of a long, high wasted navy skirt and a thick, high neck shirt in a beige that can only be described as the colour of diarrhea. I also had to wear my hair in a bun and no dangly earrings. My thing is the statement earring; Hello J-LO and Nelly Furtado hoops! I was miserable.
OK, I guess George Michael makes a fair point that “sometimes the clothes do not make the man”, but your personal style is your first message to the world of who you are. I felt like I was shackled. Forced to tone down the real Steph.
I literally ran to the chemist on my lunch break and got three more piercings in my ears just to rebel. And a little while later, got my first tattoo.
How many of us today are in a relationship, a friendship, a course or a job that does not, in any way reflect our most authentic selves? Doing something that compromises our beliefs or goals because we believe it is the right thing to do. Or what our loved ones told us we should be doing.
I don’t want to wait until I’m a granny on her way to bingo, before I start being honest about what I really want or who I really am.
Pop music phenomenon Katy Perry was dropped by three record labels before officially hitting the big time with her ’06 hit ‘I kissed a girl’. Always being told to change her image and change her style of songs because she needed to be the next Avril Lavigne, Perry kept thinking; “I just wanna be the first Katy Perry”.
Fast forward a decade or so, and this woman has amassed a net worth of $330m, released 5 albums and 29 hit singles, currently has a successful TV career and a successful perfume and shoe line…just to name a few. This success arose when she walked away from the people who did not believe in her vision, went back to writing and recording her own songs that reflected who she was. And the rest, is history.
Perhaps the key to success is a mixture of
being true to your most authentic self and having someone believe in you and
back you.
We’ve all heard Gaga’s speech about getting her
big movie break in A Star is Born, about having one hundred people in a room and
ninety nine don’t believe in you but you only need that one person. For her,
that one person was Bradley Cooper who had seen her perform La Vien Rose at a
charity event and moved mountains to have her cast as the lead.
As a result, Gaga received multiple award nominations for her acting role, won critical acclaim worldwide, won an Oscar for best song in the film and absolutely slayyyyyyed the red-carpet during awards season. I think we can all agree, there is only one Lady Gaga.
I’m really digging podcasts at the moment. I’m feeling so motivated and inspired by hearing the voices of those I most admire and listening to their stories of rise & fall, directly from the horse’s mouth. Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations podcast is at the very top of my list.
In one of these episodes, Oprah tells of her truly inspiring story that I highly recommend you listen to. I don’t know any story quite like Queen O’s. To rise and rise after such a tragic and tumultuous childhood is truly inspiring. Though the story that really stood out in my mind is how she first got her big break on a daytime talk show in Chicago after kicking around on news programs that she never truly felt comfortable at. Oprah was pitted against The Phil Donahue Show.
For those of you old enough to remember, Donahue was the unrivalled King of daytime TV and Oprah was essentially told by her boss, in so many words; “we know you don’t stand a chance against Phil Donahue, we just want you to get up there and be yourself”. On her first episode, Oprah beat Phil’s ratings and her show continued to gain audiences at a rapid rate until she became the unequivocal Queen of daytime TV (and my world).
There was never anything that cutting edge that set Oprah apart from her peers, she merely demonstrated immense warmth and empathy. Oprah was truly, just being herself, and for her, that was enough to create immense success, given the right platform.
When Ed Sheeran sings, when Jamie Oliver cooks, when Oprah speaks or when Carl Barron tells a joke, are they re-inventing the wheel? Or are they just being their most authentic selves, doing something they really, truly enjoy?
Look at what you’re doing and what you have on your bucket list. Ask yourself if this is what makes your soul soar, or if it’s just what you think you “should” be doing.
Stop “should”-ing on your life. This life may be briefer than you think.
My name is Steph. I like to tell dirty jokes (sometimes with interpretive dance). I like to drink shots at parties instead of being the designated driver (also with interpretive dance). I like to swear if it makes the story better. I like to sing in the shower, pat other people’s dogs, compliment strangers on a nice outfit, watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas Carols (even if it’s only May) and I like to have a good cry at YouTube videos of cochlear transplant patients hearing their loved ones’ voices for the first time (seriously gets me every time).
Join me in shedding the chains that are smothering the real you. Let your true colours shine, whether it’s to someone else’s liking or not. And do one thing every day that makes you smile, whether you get paid for it or not.
In the words of one Homer J. Simpson; “if it feels good, do it!”
